Mother of the Groom Duties and Responsibilities

Well, it’s here…the day that your son let you know about a big change in his life. His primary focus will now change from being the “good son” into his new role as the “devoted husband”.  You’re likely to be a bit emotional about this change, but keep in mind that he’s still your son, and is depending on you to help him through the wedding.  Your little boy is now a little more than “all grown up” and he’s got a new woman in his life.  Similarly, you are now a little more than a plain old “MOM”, you’re a “MOTG”, or “Mother of the Groom”. And, you’ll take on plenty of new duties and responsibilities. Here’s our list of potential tasks and roles you’ll be taking on:

  • You may be asked to host an informal lunch or  dinner to help your family get aquainted with the bride’s family
  • Assist your son in getting the guest list (the groom’s side, anyhow)  to share with his bride.  Be sure he consults her on the limits, and how many people she was planning on having.
  • Does your son have friends or family from out of town that will be attending? Volunteer to help him with travel planning, hotel reservations, and directions.  This is especially important if the wedding is in your area.
  • Consult with the D.J. or band about what song to play at the traditional reception “mother and son dance”.
  • If the bride is open to a little assistance, offer to help locate key wedding vendors like photographers, florists, bakers, etc.
  • Since the groom’s family usually pays for the wedding rehearsal dinner, you can plan and host it.
  • Be sure to attend the bride’s shower.  It’s a good chance to offer your help with planning, following up the guest list, baking, etc.  Be sure to ask your son for some ideas on what might be a good shower gift for his bride-to-be
  • A good way to break the ice with the bride’s family: Ask the mother of the bride, or perhaps the bride herself, to help you select your mother of the groom dress
  • Traditionally, the groom’s family pays for some well-defined items and events. These days, however, much of this is negotiatble.   Take a look at the list below, and make sue that you, or your son, have either covered them, or discussed them with the bride-to-be:
    • Engagement ring
    • Wedding Rings
    • Rehearsal Dinner
    • Groom’s Tuxedo
    • Bride’s Bouquet
    • Groomsmen’s Boutonnieres.
  • Be cordial and chatty in the receiving line…you can help introduce your guests to the  bride’s friends and family.
Don’t forget that today’s weddings don’t always strictly follow tradition, and also that the bride or her family may already have some set plans or traditions.   Your son will certainly be busy, and maybe even a bit overwhelmed, so this is your chance to help him out and cover in any gaps in the plan.

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